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Beards, bunnies and Airbnb: What it's REALLY like to get traded

https://www.espn.com.au/mlb/story/_/id/27212402/beards-bunnies-airbnb-re...

by Eddie Matz

With MLB's July 31 trade deadline just around the corner, the rumor mill is in high gear. But what happens when the mill stops making gossip and starts producing good old-fashioned deals? What happens when the deadline dust settles and players actually have to, ya know, change teams?

From beer coolers to beard shaving, from replacement woobies to replacement uniforms, from squatting to sewing, here's what goes down once a rumor becomes real.

我衛我城

六月九日,凌晨兩點鐘。洗完一桶衫褲,晾好。面對網上種種流言,收拾好明天要帶的雨傘雨衣折凳充電寶毛巾口罩泳鏡芭蕉扇。
坐在沙發上,並沒有思緒萬千。沒有想太多的東西,只是睡不著。腦海裡轉過很多東西,飛快的掠過,並沒有停留,沒有太深入的琢磨。

無論明天結果如何,這個城市將會很不一樣(這句話好像很廢)。

其中一些还不错?

172首七绝诗
1 少室山头琴未冷,风陵渡口似闻声。人间自有情难老,不信娇女白发生。

2 白马未驮夕照去,西风已送伤心来。中原可有英雄泪,为洗秋兰带露开。

3 灵枢终未得天枢,素问何曾问髯胡。烛泪滴残海棠冷,忍听山歌到晓无。

4 燕子坞前从此醉,杏花林里向来痴。红颜老去英雄在,落日牛羊归去迟。

5 万骑却回千骑分,将军无计御香尘。世间一死宁无惧?君为家山我为君。

6 来如流水逝如风,何处来兮何所终。沧海茫茫挂帆去,天涯从此各西东。

7 淡淡相思未许深,玉萧声慢涩瑶琴。寒衣检视旧针线,无处相寻一片心。

8 慧骨灵心济国危,衣衫似雪雪如肌。襄阳城破家亡日,重寄桃花第一枝。

9 百战军中最从容,掩映黄衫骑万重。苍天总为红颜妒,不教翠羽遇萧峰。

10 苦海欲归何处归,青灯黄卷一缁衣。早知因爱生忧怖,无奈人间梦未稀。

11 有心不知恨与悔,有口难辩是与非。人情终究薄如纸,不如雪岭待云归。

12 凤尾瑶琴品不凡,平沙落雁在关山。懵懂一错千古恨,琴丝永断不复弹。

13 曾折东海碧桃花,箫剑青衣走天涯,江天一望年华冷,碌碌红尘何处家。

14 素纱难掩素娇容,黑衣清扬黑马从。有缘共经生与死,无奈情郎是长兄。

15 雪中比武日黄昏,怜亦君兮恨亦君。风雨飘摇山河破,铁枪青冢葬花魂。

Houston's Grand Experiment

https://www.si.com/vault/2014/06/30/106479598/astromatic-baseball-housto...

By Ben Reiter

In the late 1980s, when people got too drunk and were kicked out of the other casinos in Lake Tahoe, they ended up at High Sierra, a place where there was no such thing as being too drunk. Sometimes they staggered over to a blackjack table manned by a young dealer named Sig Mejdal.

能缩能伸

After sixty years, a Rabbi decides to retire. Taking the box of foreskins he has collected over the years of doing circumcisions, he goes to a leather goods manufacturer and says to the man, "Can you do anything with these?"

The man says, "No problem, come back in two weeks."

After two weeks the Rabbi returns to the shop, and is presented with a wallet. In total dismay, he says to the craftsman, "After sixty years, the best you can do is a wallet?"

The man replies, "Don't worry, just rub it a few times and it will grow into a suitcase."

无事记之落第

下午大概2点时分下楼去Hungry Jack's买杯冷饮消暑。刚巧碰上店里电脑系统故障,现场一遍混乱,等了半天才拿到要的冰可乐。回到办公室却发现整层楼空无一人,火警铃声大作。于是按照火警逃生守则从消防门一路从十六楼走下去。

走倒没什么,但一路走来,四下无人,楼梯东拐西转,走廊里阴气森森,颇有僵尸片中人类逃难的感觉。

但是我有可乐。

到了楼下和同事会合,这是消防车已经撤了,看来又是虚惊一场。有人说见到老板背着书包溜了,于是就又有人提议去酒吧。

拉了九个人去附近的酒吧喝了两杯Jack Daniel's兑可乐,这时每个人的手机都收到老板的短信问我们在哪,为什么办公室没人。

看来老板又溜回去了。

回到办公室,火警铃声还在叫,烦人得很。为了能专心工作,只好戴耳机听歌。

然后我找到了Flunk的unplugged版blue Monday: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwgYinE0tVc (unplugged at Sofar Oslo 2018)。

接着还有他们 2018年波兰演出的20分钟片段。https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bB7QtgNv6xg

听了他们这么多年,还是第一次看他们的现场版。

啊人生

A Group of guys, all turning 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses were pretty and wore mini-skirts.

Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses were attractive. The food and service was good and the beer selection was excellent.

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